Make It Up
by Xonze
Summary: Castle has been back for a few weeks, doing promotion for his book Naked Heat and working with Beckett once more. Things are going well until Castle starts promoting the connection between Nikki Heat and Kate Beckett.
1. Chapter 1

Richard Castle was a deadman.

He didn't get it, he just couldn't keep her out of things involving his book. Yes, she inspired him to write Nikki Heat, but she didn't want everyone in the whole world to be reminded of that fact every time Castle did a goddam interview.

Kate sighed, picked the remote up off the coffee table and pushed the power button. The room dropped into darkness with a soft pop and she pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms across them. She stared into the faded darkness, her mind wandering. A sick feeling was beginning to well in the bottom of her stomach and she swallowed hard.

Tomorrow should be fun. Her co-workers gave her a hard enough time about the book, but now suspects were doing it too. Everyone seemed to know that Kate Beckett and Nikki Heat were linked. Hell, she couldn't even go out for a coffee without someone recognizing her. She hated it. Castle knew it bothered her, but he just seemed to get a kick out of it.

_"Detective Beckett loves Nikki. In fact, I think she's acting a bit more like Nikki as of late."_

That little line got quite a few laughs from the crowd and Kate's cheeks burned. Now she was trying to act like the fictional character? Did he not get how insulting that was? He'd be tortured before he died she decided. She'd make it as painful as she possibly could.

She couldn't sit anymore, and her throat felt dry so she made her way to the kitchen in the dark, her bare feet slapping on the hardwood floor. Going to the fridge she pulled out the milk before getting a glass and filling it halfway.

Leaning against the sink she looked back at the blank TV as it reflected the dim light coming from the windows behind her. She took a sip of her milk and swallowed hard, remembering that stupid grin he had on his face when the audience started to laugh. He was having a grand time, and at her expense. Her jaw tighten at the thought.

Did he really need everyone to know that he based his slutty detective on a real person? Kate was so tired of explaining that it was fiction and that she didn't act like that in real life, but no one seemed to believe her. She gagged as she remembered having to explain that to her dad after the first book came out and her stomach sank as the memory flooded back:

_"No dad, I don't have a trainer like—what? DAD! No, I'm not sleeping with Castle… just, stop. Please, just stop. No! Good god no. I know dad and I have had—right, sorry. It's fiction, a product of Castle's overactive imagina—god I hope he doesn't fantasize about me and him. Dad… dad I'm hanging up—"_

She sat the glass on the counter and wiped her hands down her face. Why did this have to happen to her? Didn't she suffer enough already? The whole Nikki thing just started to die down and then he had to come out with another book. It was worse than when the first one came out, Nikki was even more popular in _Naked_ Heat than in Heat wave.

Damn him.

The muscles in her face trembled as she tried not to get upset. She had liked Heat Wave, and she enjoyed the copy of Naked Heat he had given her (it was probably one of his best books in her opinion), she just wished he took her feelings into account more. Failing that, she wanted him to leave her out of his interviews. Her reputation had already taken a hit after the first book and she was sure the second would do the same.

She dumped the rest of the milk out into the sink and took a glance out her window. A tree full of multicolored leaves greeted her in the night, back lit by passing traffic. She was overacting she realized, but knowing that didn't seem to matter. He just left. After all the trouble and pain that he caused he just up and left. She shook her head, no point in thinking about that now and banned the thoughts from her head while she rinsed out the glass.

She dried the glass and played with the idea of getting another shower when her cell phone rang. She glanced up to the blue LED clock on the microwave: 12:45. Well, good thing she wasn't tired.

Jutting her hip out to miss the counter she walked from the kitchen and snatched her phone up from the small table by her couch. The Caller ID said Castle. She mumbled a curse as she hit the answer button.

"Beckett," she said, and didn't try to hide that she wasn't happy.

"Hey, did you see the interview?"

"What interview?" Silence came from the other side of the phone and for a moment she thought he hung up. That would be a blessing.

"The interview I told you about this morning. You said you'd watch it."

"I said I'd try to. Don't put words in my mouth."

"You're upset."

_Duh, what did you expect, jackass?_ Is what she wanted to say but she bit it back. "I'm not."

"You are."

"Castle, if you don't stop I _will_ be upset and then we'll have a problem."

"Except that we already have a problem and you are upset. Is it something I did?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not upset, Castle."

"You did watch the interview, what did I say that was so wrong?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the part where you freaking tell half the country that I'm trying to be more slutty and act like Nikki Heat?"

He stuttered for a moment and it made her smile. "I said no such thing, Beckett."

"You implied it, Castle. Not everyone is as dense as you are." She moved to her couch and sat down, folding her legs beneath her. "Why do you keep bringing me into your stupid interviews anyway?"

"I—I thought you'd be happy that I mentioned you as the inspiration. You're basically famous."

"What the hell makes you think I want to be famous and famous for a slutty detective at that?"

"She isn't slutty."

"She sleeps with her instructor just to get her heart rate up. She sleeps with Rook even while he's being annoying and childish… by the way nice projection there. Oh, and on top of that, in Naked Heat, you have her sleep with Rook over and over and—"

"What is your problem?"

"Nothing. Look I'm tired and I have work tomorrow, unlike some people. Night, Castle."

"Bec—" She hit the end call button and looked at the screen of her phone. Was that too harsh? No, he deserved so much worse, and he might just get it if he had an attitude tomorrow, and knowing Castle he probably would. She sat her phone down beside her, feeling suddenly tired. The anger, now somewhat dispelled by the talk with Castle, was no longer fueling her and sleep seemed to be taking its chance.

She leaned back into the couch, her eyelids growing heavier by the second and her vision cut in half. It'd be so easy to close them and fall asleep, in fact she'd do just that. A few hours and she'd be better; she'd be able to see clearly.

Her cell rang next to her and she jerked awake.

"Castle, I swear to God…" She mumbled rubbing her eyes before she reached down for the phone. Esposito's name played across the green bar in bold letters. She drew her lips into a thin line and brought the phone to her ear.

"Beckett. Where? Okay, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Right." She hung up and paused before getting up to get dressed. Should she call Castle? No, screw him. He was the last person she wanted to see at the moment.

She put the phone back on its charger and went to get dressed


	2. Chapter 2

Kate paused in her parked car and looked out at the street. A city light show was playing out in front of her: red and blue flashed in rhythm across brick facades, while solid white lights dipped and flickered as they were adjusted. Shadows were dancing on the screen-like buildings; an oversized puppet show where most of the shadow puppets were overweight and men. It always struck her how few female cops were at these scenes.

Further up on the sidewalk yellow police tape with _Do Not Cross_ printed on it zigzagged between trees and parking meters, closing off a good chunk of businesses and restaurants. She doubted any of the owners were particularly pleased at the moment. She couldn't blame them, she wasn't all that happy at the moment either.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes as she did so. Opening them was more difficult than she expected and she had to stifle a yawn. No rest for the weary, she thought and opened her door.

A brisk wind rushed across the city street as soon as she stood and caressed her cheeks in greeting, making her shiver. She pulled her leather jacket just a bit tighter around her, fighting against that same wind which seemed to be getting frisky with everyone, and she saw a number of others do the same. It was nights like these that she disliked that her job involved being out in the cold, and she thought of her warm bed waiting for her at home.

She spotted Ryan the moment she began walking, but it took a bit longer to find Esposito as he was in a crowd of other officers and it looked like he was taking statements. More likely he was talking the normal bullshit that seemed to be a requirement to be a cop. It was a bit more prevalent in detectives, but the beat cops could do it quite well too. She wouldn't normally mind, but the scene was only maybe an hour old and they could bullshit all they wanted on their own time. She made a mental note to chew him out for it later.

Mounting the sidewalk she made her way toward Ryan. A strong smell, a mixture of Indian and Italian food, flooded her nose and her stomach grumbled in want. She placed a hand to it in hopes of keeping it quiet but it still whined like a spoiled child. She hadn't ate anything since lunch which was hours ago and the milk wasn't helping her feel any better. She'd pick up something after, she told herself and her stomach seemed to be okay with the idea for the time being.

"Morning, Ryan," she called, forcing a smile. She paused just in front of the police tape and could feel her hands already becoming slick. She reached out after a moment of flexing her fingers and gripped the plastic, ducking under in a smooth motion. It was routine now, but even so she couldn't keep her mind from backtracking through her past to the first time she had ever crossed police tape. The first time she'd ever seen a dead body; the first time she had ever wondered at the amount of blood a person could have.

The first time she had ever lost someone important to her.

She wiped her hands on her jeans, pushing the thoughts from her head and moved to the circle of people that surrounded what she suspected was the body. Ryan had looked up at her greeting and was now making his way to her, excusing himself past the sea of officers.

"Hey, saw Castle's interview. Are you really trying to be more like Nikki? I have to sa—"

"Ryan, do you want to go home sometime today?"

"I—what?"

"Because if you do, I'd shut up otherwise you might be on Crime Scene clean up supervision."

"Right, sorry." He said and gulped, running a hand through his hair which made it stand up even more. He looked older in the flashing lights. Dark circles shadowed his sunken eyes and his cheeks were pulled taught, a shadow of a beard showed in them as well. Kate figured she didn't look much better, especially after the week they were having. "Anyway, we're not sure but it could be our guy again."

"What makes you say that?"

Ryan flipped open his notepad. "Female, age twenty-four to twenty-six, not sure at the moment. No ID. Seems to have been raped, but Lanie won't confirm that until she has the girl at the morgue."

"And her middle finger?"

"Missing."

"Great," Kate said feeling the beginnings of a headache at the base of her skull. She placed a hand to her neck and gently rubbed in circles. "Any witnesses?"

"None."

"You're kidding, right? This sidewalk is always filled with people."

"Yeah, and you know New Yorkers: if it don't concern baseball or themselves they couldn't care less."

"Right. I want to see the body." She said and walked past him and pushed her way through the officers that were just standing around. She didn't try to gentle about it either and knew some would complain. She didn't care. All that mattered was that it was going to be a long day before it ended.

"Dr. Parish." Kate said and knelt down beside the Medical Examiner who was bent over the thin body of their vic. The vic's legs and lower abdomen were covered with a blue sheet but Kate could see the bulge of pants near the girl's ankles.

"Detective Beckett."

"Go on, I know you want to say something about it, Lanie."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lanie said and Kate was sure she picked up on a slight laugh in her voice.

"Castle's interview. I can see you fighting to keep from saying anything, so let's just get it out of the way."

"I always thought you were more like Nikki than he gave you credit for." Lanie smirked and Kate pursed her lips in response.

"Okay, and that's enough of that. I've been having a rough enough time of it already."

"You know, some people would enjoy being the inspiration for someone else."

"What is there to enjoy? I can't even do my normal things without someone coming up to me. Even interrogations are getting harder. You know the last guy I had in the box quoted passages from the damn book… mostly from the sex scene between Nikki and Rook. Then he tried to find out if it was based on fact."

Kate could see Lanie suppressing a grin and she closed her eyes with a small growl from her throat. It never ended. "Forget it," she said standing and made her way to the other side.

The girl was young, her skin almost flawless with full lips and high cheek bones. She could have been a model, Kate thought and wiped back a strand of the girl's dark hair. The girl's eyes were open to the point of almost popping from their sockets and the irises were already clouded over. She didn't expect the end. Why would she? A young girl like that should have fifty or more years ahead of her.

"How'd she die?" Kate asked, her eyes going to the girl's lips which were slightly parted, showing perfect teeth.

"Three strikes with what looks to be a knife, two in the chest and one in the lower abdomen."

Kate grimaced and Lanie added: "She died quickly at least."

"Yeah, at least." Kate said, her voice distant. She let her gaze travel over the girl. The two punctures were just above the breasts, a deep maroon color had stained the girl's grey sweatshirt around the holes, like pedals of a flower. She continued down, reading the text that was printed in peeling golden letters across the front.

"KU?"

"Kutztown University, it's printed on the back. It's a college in Pennsylvania." Lanie said, motioning with her pen.

Kate nodded and her eyes came to the last wound. This one was larger and seemed to almost be done in anger, as if after getting what he wanted the killer was annoyed by something the girl did. The sweat shirt was torn halfway up to just below where her rib cage began. Kate swallowed back hard. She could see deep into the cavity.

"Ryan said you think it's our Rapist slash Killer."

"I'll tell you what I told him: I won't know until I get her back and compare her to the other two murders."

"She wasn't killed here." Kate said softly no longer listening. She looked over the concrete, searching for anything out of place. There was no blood splatter, not even droplets. She was killed somewhere else and brought here. Just like the last two.

"Keep me posted." Kate said, placing her hands on top of her thighs.

Lanie narrowed her eyes. "I always do. You're the one that keeps things from me."

"I—"

"Another one? That makes what? Three?" Kate turned to look up at the voice and found Castle standing at the girl's feet. He was wearing a long coat and had his hands in the pockets. His eyes were set on her and his hair fluttered for a moment under the wind that continued its way through the crime scene.

"Ah, Mr. Castle, nice of you to grace us with your presence. I guess that interview didn't take as much out of ya as I thought." Lanie said and Castle gave a small smile.

"It was done earlier today. So what did you think?"

"I liked it for the most part, you do well at interviews."

Castle shrugged. "Lots and lots of practice. I had to get good at it as I do a lot of them."

"That's great, Castle. Just amazing, but maybe you can regale us some other time, when there isn't a dead girl on the sidewalk?" Kate said standing up. "Who called you anyway?"

"You didn't, obviously," he said, and folded his arms in front of him, almost acting like a disapproving parent. It wasn't helping him.

"No, I didn't, which is why I asked who did."

Castle pointed a thumb over his shoulder and Kate followed it finding both Ryan and Esposito standing at the police line talking to what looked like two college aged girls. "Esposito did, told me it was our guy again so of course I had to come."

"Of course," Kate said through her teeth. "Well, sadly there isn't much more to do, so you should probably get home and maybe get some sleep. God knows those interviews must take a lot out of you even if it doesn't feel like it."

"What about you?"

"Me?" Kate asked, placing a hand to her chest as if shocked he'd ask. "Why I'm going to go sleep with my trainer so I can be more like Nikki. I should be done before Lanie has her report. But you never know." She said and winked at him.

"Beckett, come on," Castle said and moved in front of her as she began out. She really wished he'd just take the hint that she didn't want to talk to him right now. It was Castle, she reminded herself, when did he ever take a hint?

She gave a small huff and balled her hands into fists. "What, Castle? What do you want?"

"For you to talk to me. Tell me what I—what I can do to make it up to you." His hands went to her shoulders and she looked down at them. He had some balls tonight, she thought with an inner smile. On the outside she glowered up at him.

"Hands off, Castle."

"Sorry," He said, his hands flying away from her like he'd been stung. He dropped them to his side but kept his gaze on her. "I didn't mean to upset you, Kate."

"Really? Since when? You're always trying to push my buttons." She cocked an eyebrow when he tried to talk and only unintelligible sounds came from him. "Right."

She moved past him, this time he didn't try to stop her, and went to Ryan and Esposito.

They were talking amongst each other, both looking at their right hands with stupid, boyish grins on their faces. Those grins disappeared within seconds of seeing her and they dropped their hands behind their backs, trying to compose themselves. It was sad really.

"What's going on guys?" Kate asked with a half smirk. They took a glance at each other and began to talk at the same time, their words jumbling together like singers in a high-school garage band. She pursed her lips as she came to a stop in front of them. "You sure they're over eighteen?"

"Who?" Esposito asked trying to look innocent which he didn't do very well.

"_You_ don't get to talk, you're already in hot water." She said and Esposito's brow furrowed. "You called Castle."

"So?"

"So, if I wanted Castle here I would have called him myself." She said, feeling her skin burning slightly even while the wind came by for another pass.

"Sorry?" Esposito offered and took a look at his partner who gave a shrug. Kate knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't help it. Castle had riled her up and now she was just trying to get rid of the energy anyway she could. "You all right, Beckett?"

"Yeah," she said and sighed. "Sorry. Are you two really picking up dates at a crime scene?"

"Wha—what are you talking about?" Ryan said, his voice high and exaggerated. She reached out and before he could react she had his right hand in hers. Numbers were written in smudged black ink on his palm with the name Jessica below it, the 'I' dotted with a heart.

"What would Jenny think?" Kate asked smirking at the sudden fear that froze in his face.

"I wan't gonna call, I was Esposito's wingman, you know—"

Kate laughed gently and shook her head. "Look, Jenny won't find out if you two get back over there and do your jobs."

The two detectives took off without a word. She turned with them and found Castle watching her. He was standing stoically in the middle of the sidewalk, his breath coming off in milky clouds. After a moment he turned away from her and looked out to the street.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was just peaking through the windows of the precinct when Kate picked up the phone to hear Lanie on the other end. She rubbed at her forehead as she listened to the list Lanie ran down and caught Castle watching her from the corner of her eye. She swiveled away from him and looked out to the break room.

"You're sure they're the same?"

"Girl, do you think I make this stuff up? Yes, I'm as sure as I can be that she was killed by the same bastard."

Kate rolled her eyes and dropped her head slightly. "Right, sorry. I'll be down in a little bit."

Kate hung the phone up and turned back to her computer, trying her best to ignore the look Castle was giving her. It was almost like he was trying to put his family history into practice and read her mind. If he could he'd find some very unflattering things being said about him.

"Well?" He finally said, obviously ready to explode.

"Well, what?" Kate said, looking over the paperwork on here desk. She shuffled a few folders together, acting like she was looking for a certain one. From the corner of her eye she could see his leg shaking. He liked to push her buttons and she could do it back.

"You know what. What did Lanie say? Did she find something? Is it the same guy?"

"You sure are full of questions."

"And you have answers. Come on, tell those of us in the cheap seats what she found."

Kate stood and walked over to the white board where a picture of the girl was already clipped up. She paused in front of it knowingly making Castle squirm, and then reached down to pick up a marker.

"Clare Lionel, twenty-two," she said and wrote the name on the board above the picture. She took a step back and snapped the cap back on the marker. Looking over the picture she frowned and turned her head over to the two detectives who were sitting sleepily in front of their desks.

"Esposito," she called but he didn't seem to hear her, or he was already asleep which she wouldn't put past him. She turned completely to them and placed two fingers to her lips and gave a short, sharp whistle.

Ryan and Esposito jerked up from their computers and for a moment their look reminded her of the dogs in the park who had wandered too far from their owners and were now being called back. They turned and looked at her, both glaring.

"Do you have to do that? It's painful." Ryan said pushing his pinky finger in his ear and wiggled it around for a moment.

"Yeah, Ryan has very delicate eardrums." Esposito said, shaking his head behind Ryan in disbelief and then looked back to her. "What's up?"

Kate sat the marker down in the tray and walked over to them, feeling Castle's eyes on her the entire way. She kept her own eyes locked on the two detectives until she came to Ryan's desk and bent down, placing her hands on it. The two men rolled over in their chairs as she talked in a low voice.

"Can you two run a check on Clare Lionel, see what crops up. I want know where her family is and anyone that may have seen her yesterday." She paused for a moment and took a glance back. Castle was on the edge of his seat, almost tipping it over as he strained to overhear. "Don't mention anything to Castle."

"Why?" Ryan said following her gaze and Kate slapped her hands on the desk causing him to jerk back in his chair.

"Because, it's pay back for the interview."

"And I thought Castle could be petty." Esposito said smiling at her. She narrowed her eyes at him but the smile stayed in place.

"Petty or not, don't mention anything to him. Got it?" They both nodded slowly.

"Good." Kate said and walked back to the board, looking it over. It was sickeningly empty right now, at least the Clare side was. The board was divided into three sections, each one pertained to one of the victims.

She let her gaze jump from one picture to the next, starting with Clare and moving to Lindsey and then stopping at the first victim, Casey. They seemed to be random, chosen for their beauty rather than for any concrete reason. How do you stop something like that? It could be any girl at anytime.

Kate ran her tongue along the tops of her teeth, there wasn't anything new here. The first two both lived in New York, but were on other sides of the city, yet their bodies were found within blocks of each other. No friends or family could explain why they would be where they were and so there was no real timeline. The only thing that all three really had in common was the missing middle finger. What the hell that had to do with anything was beyond her at the moment.

"You know, I've been thinking, what if it's the killer that these girls all have in common?" She closed her eyes at Castle's voice and turned to face him. She took a step back as he was sitting right behind her on the desk, his arms crossed in front of him. He smiled at her, that same stupid grin that he had during the interview and she felt heat rising up her cheeks.

"And you're basing that on what? We already went over old boyfriends and other males in the first two victims lives. They don't know each other."

"I'm basing it on a hunch. They're from different parts of the city and no one knows why they were out where they were found. What if it's—"

"A hidden boyfriend? Why hide a boyfriend though, especially to your friends?"

"I dunno, you've hid boyfriends from me… though not always."

"What are you talking about?" She asked, running though boyfriends in her mind. It didn't take long for it click. Demming. The part where she hid her boyfriends was still confusing though.

"Nothing, my point is there has to be some connection, something to do with the fingers and the girls. It might not be a boyfriend, could just be a friend."

"Again, their friends didn't mention anyone weird hanging around."

"Did you ask them if the girls were going anywhere without telling them? Disappearing without an excuse?"

She sighed. "Yes, but if they were hiding it then they would have made up something."

"Then we don't really know anything." Castle said and walked up to the whiteboard and in a small space between victim one and two he wrote: Mystery Boyfriend.

"I still don't buy it."

"It's a freebie," Castle said grinning and she shook her head.

He could be such a goof, which wasn't exactly a bad thing most of the time. She liked having him around for that very fact, that and sometimes his off the wall ideas had some merit to them. She felt a small pang run through her chest and she parted her lips slightly, sucking in a bit of air. He might have never came back. The thought sent her mind running like a starting gun was fired.

For what felt like eons she had been trying to get him off her case, and yet he basically handed the chance as a gift and she didn't take it. She had grown used to him being around and the thought of walking onto a murder scene, knowing that Castle wouldn't be around at all, bothered her.

It bothered her all summer actually. She missed him even after he hurt her. No not hurt—he couldn't hurt her—she wouldn't allow such a thing. Yet, it was painful when he walked away and she still wasn't sure what she wanted to say to him before he left. She didn't think she'd see him again and had buried him and the feelings the day after he left.

Except she did see him again.

The day he came back he showed up by her desk, sitting in his normal chair, sipping a cup of coffee from a large cup. She remembered being annoyed at him being there and showing up unannounced, but seeing a second cup sitting on her desk defused her anger. Only slightly though as it didn't take much to remember how he had left; how he walked out with his ex-wife ignoring that she had wanted to talk to him.

She kept her distance as he talked to her, telling her how much of a pain Gina was, and how his summer was lots of fun. How he wrote like crazy so that he could enjoy most of July out on the beach, surrounded by women in swimsuits and drinking beers.

She merely nodded along, smiling slightly at the right times. She never mentioned that her summer had been one of her worst in a long while. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing such a thing. She was glad he was back though, something else she wouldn't tell him. He wasn't forgiven.

Even so, the feelings came back, drawing themselves up from the ground and she found herself letting him back in more and more, or she was until he pissed her off.

"Well, glad you still give out your wild ideas as freebies to me, otherwise I'd have to buy the book."

"You would anyway." He said and she turned walked away. She could have given him some snide remark, but doing so played into his little game, and if she did he'd think he was off the hook. He wasn't, and wouldn't be anytime soon, especially if he kept bothering her.

She headed for the break room, the idea that it was a hidden boyfriend that had killed the girls still knocking around her thoughts. It was so absurd that it almost made sense.

She got a cup off the top of the espresso machine and filled the machine before leaning back on the counter, waiting.

How could no one know about the boyfriend though? No girl could keep something like that a complete secret, despite what Castle thought. Hell, Lanie knew every time she had been asked out and Kate didn't act strange or gave a hint of it, as least she didn't think she did. It was a gift best friends had.

She placed the cup under the machine after a moment and breathed in deeply at the smell that wafted from the twin streams of liquid. She smiled slightly but it only lasted a second as Castle came in and paused at the counter.

He didn't say anything which unnerved Kate. He stood there watching, his eyes crawling over her. She finally looked up, her cup full and took a sip from it, wondering what he was waiting for.

"Look, what do you want me to say?" He held his hands out and looked at her pleadingly.

"What I want is for you to use that head of yours sometimes."

"In what way?"

"In a way that tells your stupid mouth to clam up. I'm sure it does but you never listen to it. Remember the first case we worked on? When you just dug and dug until you hit a nerve?"

"When was that?"

"When we were reading over your stupid fan-mail."

"You remember that?"

"Guess you don't. Anyway, all I'm saying is that you could think a little more."

She saw his jaw clench and his eyes dropped to the floor. "I didn't forget, I just don't like remembering that look."

"What look?"

"The look you had when I went too far. Now, like before, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I'm a big girl, Castle, I don't break that easily." She said and took another sip from her coffee, her hands shaking just slightly. It was the look he was giving her; the sorry in his eyes.

"Never said you did, Kate."

She froze, the cup at her lips and she darted her eyes over at him. His face didn't change and yet she knew this conversation seemed to have turned a corner.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, it's the last thing I—"

"Hey Beckett, I got something you should see." Ryan said, leaning into the room, his arm on the doorframe keeping him from falling. He glanced around at both of them and cocked his head to the side. "Sorry, bad time?"

"Uh, no," Kate said tearing her gaze from Castle. He had looked away as soon as he was interrupted and a dejected look was playing across his face that captured her. "What did you find?"

"I'll show you if you follow me," he said smiling broadly and disappeared behind the wall.

Kate stayed in place, the side of her bottom lip finding itself under her front teeth. She turned back to Castle to see him looking down at his shoes. He tightened his lips into a grim smile for a second as if getting himself under control.

"Castle?" She asked, hoping he'd look at her and maybe continue what he was going to say, but he didn't. He gave a nod for some reason and left the room. The moment he was out and passing the window he looked up, his shoulders relaxed and his hands went loose. His poker face was back.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate moved to stand just behind Ryan who was already at his computer, a smile on his face that reminded her of the boyish grin he had earlier that day. It better be something good for him to be so damn happy.

"So, I did..." He hesitated and looked over to find Castle standing as far to the other side of the desk as he could. Kate followed his gaze. Castle had moved away as soon as she reached Ryan's desk, like he was trying to keep his distance from her.

"It's fine, he can hear it." Kate said, and saw Castle look over at her. She couldn't quite read his face and she found herself getting annoyed that there was something there, yet she couldn't tell what it was.

"Okay, so something interesting came up while I was searching her name online. Apparently our girl was part of a dating service." Ryan said, pulling up the browser window.

"Like... a call girl service or like E-harmony?" Castle asked, leaning forward to see the screen.

"The second," Ryan said and pointed to the screen. On it was a picture of their third vic, smiling brightly as if life's problems couldn't touch her. Kate had the same thought as before, the girl was model material. It would explain why she was in New York when she went to college in Pennsylvania.

"A girl like that? Come on, she could have any man she wanted just by batting her eyelashes and wearing a low cut top."

Kate rolled her eyes. "She could get laid, sure, but most women aren't like you, they want something else out of a relationship, something more than sex."

"You cut me to the quick, Detective, what makes you think all I want is sex out of a relationship?"

"Actions speak louder than words, Castle." She said looking over the top of Ryan's head to see Castle. She smiled at him, but he didn't return it. Something made him look at her for a brief second, their eyes met, and she found she could read hurt in his eyes. It was faint, but there.

"If you two could hold off on your lover's quarrel for a little, I'd like to point out the really juicy bit." Ryan said opening two other tabs in the browser window. Each tab showed the same site but with a different profile picture. Kate moved forward, draping her right arm over the back of the chair and moved in next to Ryan thinking Castle's crazy theory couldn't be right.

They were the same girls though, each of their vics were on the same site-that couldn't be a coincidence. They'd found-

"We've found our connection." Castle said, bending down and she looked over, surprised at him finishing her thought and the hand she felt on top of her own. A small shiver run up her arm and then down her spine. She tried to move it gently away, but his hand almost engulfed hers, and she didn't want to draw attention to it unless she had too. The touch was driving her crazy though to the point of near complete distraction.

"Beckett?" She turned her head from Castle's hand to look at Ryan.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said, do you think we should try to get a warrant to see who she was matched up with?"

She slid her hand from underneath Castle's and he dropped his hand as well, but his expression didn't change. He had to know what he was doing to her, and yet there was no sign from him.

"Yeah, see if we can get one. It might give us a lead, and check to see if any of the guys match with all three girls." Kate said, getting herself back in order. Castle wasn't looking at her, but she'd be damned if she'd let him see that he got to her.

"On it."

She moved away and headed back to her desk. Her coat was hanging off the back of her chair and she pulled it off, throwing her hands into the sleeves. She watched as Castle rushed over while she picked up her keys.

"Where we going?"

"To see Lanie." Kate said and locked her computer. "I want to talk to her about her report."

Walking to the elevator she keep her gaze ahead, knowing he was probably watching her. The thought quickened her pace and she hit the button for the elevator forcefully, hoping the harder she pressed the quicker it'd arrive. It of course took its sweet time.

She was standing on one side of the door and Castle was leaning on the other, his expression changing as the seconds ticked by. She found herself wondering if he was thinking the same things that were running through her own thoughts. She doubted it, he didn't have a reputation to worry about.

"So..." His voice startled her slightly and she looked up.

"What?" She finally asked when he didn't continue, but before he could answer the elevator arrived and a look of relief or maybe disappointment flashed across his face . He stepped in first, going to the back of the elevator and leaning against the rail.

Kate pushed a button before turning around to face him. "Castle, what were you going to say back there?"

"Back where?"

"In the break room, before Ryan came in."

"I'm not sure." He said and looked up at the ceiling, his hands going to his pockets.

"Seriously?"

He didn't look down.

"You're seriously not going to tell me? You're gonna play the 'I'm not sure' bullshit?"

"It's not bullshit, I'm honestly not sure anymore." He said and this time he looked down to met her gaze. His eyes were somehow even bluer than normal and she found herself caught up in them for a moment.

"Okay, Castle, we'll play it your way for now." She said throwing up her hands and turning back to the door. She could see him in the distorted reflection the polished metal showed and for a moment she found herself being lost in the waviness of his image. She was still drawn to him even with being distorted and the full realization that was months in coming finally hit her.

She liked him, not as a partner, not as a friend, but as something more. Well, that wasn't exactly news to her was it? She was going to tell him that day how she felt wasn't she?

It was then that she realized the feelings were back and stronger than before.

That was not okay. He'd just leave again and she'd be left holding those feelings when he did. She couldn't do that again, it was hard enough to shove them aside the first time. She wouldn't be left there, being the only one that cared enough to move forward. It wouldn't work out.

When the doors finally opened she shot out of the elevator like it was the barrel of a gun. She didn't look back to see where Castle was, she knew he'd catch up, but she just needed to get out of the elevator. She made her way out the front of the building and to her car, glad for the fresh air.

Pulling out her keys as she reached the car she heard Castle come out of the front door. By the time she unlocked her door he was at the passenger side looking in the window, waiting for her to slide inside.

She sighed and pulled her door open, sitting down heavily before unlocking his side. Another enclosed space with Castle. Great. He got in, moving closer to her side to miss the supposed spring that poked him. She smiled slightly as he wiggled, trying to get comfortable.

"You really need to get these seats fixed." He said, leaning a bit too close to her as he adjusted his jacket. She could smell his aftershave and she resisted the urge to breath in deeply. "I'm going to have a permanent dent in my butt soon."

"Goes with the dent in your head." She said and shifted the car into reverse.

"Meanie."


	5. Chapter 5

Kate stepped into the morgue first, holding the door for Castle as she looked around the room. Nothing ever really changed here, other than the bodies, so she was able to take everything in quickly. She found Lanie sitting on a stool in front of a table that was inset into the wall, doing paper work.

"Hey Lanie." She called, letting the door go and walking over to her. She turned when she heard Castle grunt. Apparently he was much further behind her than she thought and she had let the door go just in time to hit him. She fought back a laugh as he pushed opened the door and rubbed his forehead.

"Thanks Beckett." He said, glaring.

"Just makes the dent in your head easier to see." She said and continued on to Lanie who was watching them both.

"Haven't killed him yet?"

"Not yet, but the day isn't over." Kate said with a smirk. "So, what do you got?"

Lanie stood and walked over to the table with a female body laying on it, the fluorescent light glaring on her skin. She sighed picking up a clipboard from a side tray. "Like the others the guy used a condom and I checked for fingerprints on clothing and skin, but skin doesn't hold prints well, and nothing on the clothes."

"So, no other evidence?" Kate asked standing beside one of the tables. This one was holding Clare. She made herself use the vics name to help calm her guilty conscience. If she had caught the bastard after the first murder Clare would still be alive. If she caught him after the second, Clare would still be alive. She failed with two chances. She wouldn't fail again.

"There is some bruising around her wrists and lower right forearm, consistent with a large strap. Other than the wounds and that, there isn't anything else, our guy is like a ghost. Just like the last two."

"So she was tied down. You would think there would be more defensive marks though."

Kate looked over Clare. The pale blue sheet covered the girl up to just above the breasts and Kate could see the two puncture wounds which looked like black rosebuds. The autopsy incisions ran above both punctures, staples following the line and closing the gaps where congealed blood seeped through.

"I'm waiting on toxicology, but my guess is she was drugged which would explain the lack of marks."

"T.O.D?" Kate asked, forcing her eyes away from Clare.

Lanie looked down at her clipboard for a moment. "Ten or eleven last night."

"So he ditched the body within an hour of killing her." Kate said and moved around the table next to Lanie.

Lanie nodded. "I did find something else after I called."

"What's that?" Castle said. Kate looked over to him, finding him standing back by the door, rubbing his forehead.

"You guys haven't ate yet, have you?" Lanie said looking a little leery of what she needed to say next.

"No…" Kate said looking at the M.E. from the corner of her eye. "Why?"

"That missing finger," Lanie said pointing at Clare's right hand. "Was removed while she was still alive and…"

"And?" Kate asked, feeling her stomach twist while an unpleasant heat washed over her.

"And, I found the finger."

"Where?" Castle was off the wall in a second, his brows rose high and he seemed to wince when he did. She watched him as he rounded the table and stood right next to her, his shoulder brushed against her's. Why was it that he always found himself inches away from her?

"Her pocket." Lanie said and tapped a finger against her clipboard.

"Wh—" Kate started, but stopped when she couldn't find the words for what she wanted to say. Castle didn't have the same problem.

"Why… why would he do that?"

"Why indeed."

"That doesn't make me feel much better. I'd rather have it missing, I think." Kate said and swallowed hard as Lanie handed over the bag with the finger inside.

"The other two victims weren't stabbed in the stomach, were they?" Castle asked.

Lanie shook her head, her brow furrowed.

"He's escalating," Kate said as she turned to Castle.

"Or, this girl did something that really pissed our guy off." Castle walked around to the other side of the table, looking down at Clare as he did. "Lanie, were the other two strapped down?"

"Not that I could tell." Lanie said and Kate looked at Castle along with her, confused where he was leading them. Castle smiled at both ladies.

"I'd say our girl put up a fight. The other two had their fingers removed postmortem, correct?"

"Yeah, wh-" Castle continued before she could finish, his hands moving as he talked. Kate found herself following his hands, trying to figure out exactly where he was going. "Then there was something different with Clare, something about her that made him angry. She might—"

"Dr. Parish? The victim's father is here to see the body." A young man with wild hair said, standing just inside the doorway.

"Thanks Will, show him in." Lanie said, reaching down and pulling up the sheet to cover the wounds, just before the man entered.

He was older than Kate expected, and she found herself reminded of her own father. The man's hair was graying at the sides in white strains while the rest seemed to be receding. His face was dark and wrinkled from what Kate guessed was years of working out in the sun. Under his red swollen eyes were heavy bags as if he hadn't slept well in weeks.

His gaze shot to each of them, his hazel eyes lingering on Kate for a moment as she shifted uncomfortably. She hadn't prepared to meet with Clare's parents yet and it made her mind jump into overdrive. She took a few steps forward, breathing steady.

"Thank your for coming down, Mr. Lionel, I'm Detective Kate Beckett. I'm very sorry for your loss." Kate said, out stretching her hand, his handshake was weak and he seemed to not be able to release her hand fast enough.

"I got in my car and drove all the way up here as soon as I got the call." He said, and turned to the table beside Lanie. Kate could see the tears building around the edges of his eyes and he blinked as he stood over Clare, the tears breaking free. "Oh, my beautiful little girl," he walked forward, his hands touching the table. He looked up into Kate's eyes. "Who did this?"

"We're not sure quite yet," Kate said and took a step closer to the man. "But I promise you we will find out." She debated whether she should tell him what exactly happened and she swallowed hard when she decided and dropped her head. She was glad he wasn't looking at her. "What we do know is that she was raped and then killed by a man. We have a strong lead but I can't say much more."

"Raped?" Mr. Lionel said turning to face Kate, his eyes ran through her, making the air in her lungs catch for a moment. "Who would do something like that? Do that to my little girl…"

"Mr. Lionel, I'm sorry to ask but would you mind coming outside and answer a few questions?" Kate said, trying to keep her face soft to show she understood, but with parents of a victim you never could tell what would be over the line. It was a tightrope act between pushing to get information and showing compassion and understanding. Kate hadn't fallen off yet.

"All right." Mr. Lionel said, taking one last look at his daughter. He touched her hand gently and then walked out, his head down, staring at the floor. Kate took a glance at Lanie and then to Castle, nodding her head to the door before following the man out.

There was a lounge near the front of the Medical Examiner office and that was where Kate led Mr. Lionel. Here, at least, there wasn't the smell of chemicals and partly masked decay. She offered a seat to him which he took, lowering himself slowly to it. She took the cheap, padded love seat across from him. Castle stood next to her for a moment and it was then she realized that the only seat left was right next to her. He went to sit down, glancing at her as if to make sure she wasn't around to hurt him. It was a tight fit and she shifted as close as she could to the armrest.

She was still annoyed at him for everything, and yet he seemed to be weaseling himself back in somehow, and she found herself not as mad. She didn't want to be so close to him though, there was something about him being near that felt right and uncomfortable at the same time.

She leaned forward and met Mr. Lionel's eyes. "Mr. Lionel, again, I am so very sorry for you loss."

"Thank-you."

"Can you tell me what Clare was doing in New York?"

Mr. Lionel sighed and leaned back into the chair, his hands going to his knees and his fingers began to pull at a loose thread on one of the dark blue patches. "She… said she wanted to see the city. She majored in theater at Kutztown. She wanted to see Broadway and decide if she could stand the city."

"Stand the city?" Castle asked, and leaned forward as well, his shoulder touching hers.

"We live in the country basically. Lots of small towns and fields, Clare was never in a city like New York before. She wanted to see what it was like"

"Did Clare have any friends here?"

He nodded. "Her roommate in college, Jessica, lived here. I think she was the one that talked Clare into coming. They were staying at Jessica's sister's apartment." He took a shaking breath and let it out. "God, I knew this was a bad idea." Mr. Lionel dropped his head to his hands and gave a small sob. "I should have stopped her, should have talked her out of it."

"Mr. Lionel, did Clare have a boyfriend?" Castle asked after a moment.

Walking the tightrope alone was hard, but with another person, like Castle, it could be almost impossible. He had a habit of pushing too hard too soon, and yet sometimes it panned out. She didn't kill him because of those times. She shoved him with her shoulder and he looked over to her, his expression asking what he did.

"Uh, no, not that I knew of. She spent a lot of time on the computer though."

"Did you know she was on a dating site?" Kate asked.

"What?" Mr. Lionel asked looking between them. "No, why would she be on a dating site?"

"That's what we were hoping you could tell us."

He held his hands out, his brow pushed up. "I didn't know anything about it."

Kate nodded and stood up. "Thank you, Mr. Lionel. I promise we'll do whatever we can to bring this man to justice." She raised her hand and Mr. Lionel stood, grasped it gently before he walked away.

She sighed and placed her hands on her hips before turning to Castle who was watching her from where he sat.

"So now what?" He asked, his hands folded in front of him and he was leaning forward as if trying to decide if he should get up or not. "It's only a matter of time before this bastard kills again."

Kate bit her lip, turning away from him and watching Lionel as he walked down to the hall toward the door. Clare would be the last one, she had already promised that to herself and to Clare. The problem was they weren't much further than they were with the first two girls. The only connection is the dating site, and honestly, that was a shot in the dark.

She drummed her fingers on her waist for a moment before reaching out her hand to Castle. "Come on, let's go see if Ryan got the warrant."

Castle looked up to her, then at her hand and then back to her. She moved it forward, wondering what his problem was and he smirked slightly. He took it after a moment and she helped him to his feet before moving to the hallway and heading out.


End file.
